Drugstore Cowgirl

One of my better friends is courting a girl that needn't be courted. I have never met her but his stories are absurd. First, she was disappointed that she did not have the time to pop some percasetts nor dilaudid before seeing a movie.. or as a last resort, sneak in a bottle of Jack.

She asked him to attend a fund raiser for the victims of the Katrina hurricane. She told him that there would be lots of finger foods and an open bar for 40 bucks a head. Probably, the classiest part of her proposition would probably have been the part when she told him that she usually has to safety-pin a note to her sweater before attending an open bar. The note would contain writings of her address so someone, anyone, can wheel barrel her home when she gets influenced by overwhelming alcoholic toxins.

I asked him how he felt about this. To my surprise, he answered that he thought it is good for two reasons. One, is that she will be more “available” when she gets trashed.. and two, now he will finally know where she lives.

Maybe cupid drank some 80 proof.

Trust Walking

Do you work with any older guys, the ones who have been called "dinosaurs" for devoting most of their life to just one cause or organization, thrown around the ringer for many years as they approach retirement? You know, the ones that wait for anyone that will listen to them, always hiding around the corner of the office with a cup of coffee and a snide remark concerning upper management. The ones that tell you the same story over again from time to time, not only telling their stories, but reliving them as they speak.

I remember two years ago, I was in our cafeteria with such a coworker, who has a surprisingly wonderful sense of humor for someone having been divorced, having battled through substance abuse and now clinging on to his job amidst rumors of being next on the list to be let go. He over-rationalizes his work day's accomplishments to combat the mounting small talk of his lack of productiveness and initiative.

Back then, he spoke to me about not being able to trust anyone in this world but yourself. "People cheat you, people screw you over, people leave you in the cold, people change on you, people die before you.. the only one you can truly count on and trust is yourself." I remember how I nodded to the beat of his words to keep his aging engine alive during a cold, bleak winter afternoon, although I really wish I could express my disagreement to his words.

I had lunch with this fellow again this afternoon, as we were both in training at a ridiculously distant location. He repeated this story to me again, and this time, it was a cool late summer day, and again I nodded to the beat of his words, but this time to keep my engine alive. I really wish I could express how much I agreed with his words.

There's someone for everyone..

Taken from a website, listing interesting classified ads..

Yesterday:

You looked ravenous at the McDonald's on my corner. I was scavenging in the trash for leftovers when our eyes met; then I saw a half-eaten McNugget. Glanced up and you were gone. Dessert? Meet me at the corner of Sixth and Vine.