Prison Flicks

Someone very close to me just got sentenced to jail in the New York State correctional facility. Sadly enough, the person was a member of my immediate family. Don't worry, it wasn't for a violent crime, but a crime nonetheless. Today, I went and sent a letter and a whole bunch of books through the postal service.

I apologize if I have been out of commission as of late. This drama, coupled with a long term relationship breakup has sent me into an isolated state of thought. I have been very reclusive as of late, not choosing to accommodate several offers of being social. I have also ended a very short term relationship with a wonderful person that I thought would fill a void. I realized that I was only going down that path of leading someone back to the starting point. I still have the ability to make myself laugh.. and I am grateful for that one gift that I believe was given from the great heavens above. I have began to like myself more and more as I spend more alone time.. but, I realize one thing I cannot escape.. we are social beings. I have started to crave short conversations, late night coffee chats, and the act of reuniting with an old pal. I am almost ready.

So, the Big House huh? Yeah.. this is a trying time where up is down. But I remember one short little story that touches on the theme I have started this entry with and also with my previous one and makes me giggle. I would hate to paint a story were prejudiced remarks are only being emitted by the stereotypical man of the masses. Here's a different take on a similar story..

My first professional job was to be the back office support staff for a major investment bank in New York City. It was an explosive experience for me. I went throught eight interviews, each time having the stick shoved that much deeper inside until I would bleed the answers they wanted. The process took almost a month to complete and as each round progressed, I noticed that many of the faces that I identified with during the process were vanishing.

After getting the job, coincidently, it was tax season. I was lifted from my geek duties on the computer and sent to the tax reporting office. Everyone at the office was ultra conservative and reserved. The office needed extra labor for tax reporting so we had to learn all the tax regulations of the great United States revenue system.

We all kept to ourselves and many coworkers voiced their fears that they were being secretly tape recorded through various clandestine measures: bugs in the elevator, recordings in the bathroom, small transceivers in the lunch room and so on.. most people were nervous enough not to open up. One guy insisted on 'signing' to me in the men's room. He didn't even know sign language so it was a makeshift attempt. To their credit, I did witness two firings due to 'questionable behavior.'

Ok, lets start this story.. The company hired a few accountants to help out in the tax season. One such accountant had the name Arthur. Arthur was a 50 something Jewish accountant that sported the typical accountant motif: nice vintage dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up and tucked under right after the elbows, a neatly trimmed blond/red beard, bald spot, thin glasses, bad posture, dark slacks and black shoes, electronic watch.. and on and on... he had a style I liked; he was definitely stuck in the late 70s.

Arthur was in my group which consisted of about thirty people. It was a multicultural group; I do remember a girl from South America that I began taking a liking to.. another story though.. But I remember there were two black guys who were a blast to hang with. They were one of the few coworkers that didn’t care about being a puppet. One guy was named Karl, a Brit that used to photograph soccer clubs in England, and the other guy was named Roger.. and he seemed pretty normal other than the fact that he loved to talk about women all the time.. but I guess that is normal. Karl and Roger always joked about the fact that they were the only visible black people in the office.

It was funny watching Arthur use a computer. He would type only with his two index fingers at a pace reminiscent of the minutes passing by your life by while watching C-SPAN. He would always shout, "Oww - wah.. Jay-sus Chryssssst.. just khill me already with these damn computers!" in a very Woody Allen trochaic manner.

One day, the head trainer appeared and told us that she needed two volunteers to learn tax law concerning corporate bonds. Nobody volunteered so she simply picked Karl and Roger since their proximity to her was simply unavoidable. Anyway, Karl and Roger were gone all day and the remainder of the group finished the daily lesson quite early. We decided to continue, and our group started to learn tax law concerning corporate bonds. We were trained for the last two hours of the day. The head trainer reappeared with Karl and Roger. Our trainer sporting a small smile, sarcastically said to the group "Hey everyone, it's Karl and Roger.. guess where they've been?"

Arthur nonchalantly lifted his head from the books and with a serious face answered in that all-knowing New York Jewish accent, "Prison?"